WOMB PAIN

7.29.08
last week, here at knuckles deep, we dipped our toes into the ocean of issues in the world. today we bring up another pressing and important topic: birth control.

i would like to make the following disclaimer: i will try to keep the graphic nature of this post as it pertains to my lady parts at a minimum. continue at your own risk.

i got to go to the lady doctor yesterday to have my IUD removed and replaced. it is about 20 minutes of ridiculous discomfort and pain that comes with the end result of 5 years of baby-free living. as if the terrible-ness of the procedure itself wasn't enough, for the next few days my uterus will be as angry as that one time i threw kevin in the bathtub just to see how she would react (not well is the answer, not well at all). also, i'm enjoying the hilarity of an after care sheet that tells me to 'not put anything in my vagina for the next two days'. not 'refrain from sexual intercourse' or something a little more medicinal sounding. simply, 'don't put anything in your vagina'. it doesn't get any more succint than that i suppose. they should probably suggest some alternatves, like anal or h.j.'s.

moral of the story: ladies, don't get pregnant. dudes, don't get ladies pregnant. and while i may bitch about my womb/uterus/cervix for the next couple days, it's ultimately worth it. because i won't be getting knocked up any time soon. and that is awesome because babies are gross.

knuckles deep would also like to remind you that IUD's, the birth control pill/patch, norplant, depo et al. do not prevent the contraction of HIV and other sexually transmitted diseases. please, use a condom.